That Mental Health Bloke

I’m an 80s baby so I grew up in the early to mid 90s watching a TV comedy in the UK called game on, it was epic, one of the main characters in the show, Matthew, wouldn’t leave his flat, despite being a “double hard bastard” (his words not mine)

I was a young teenager, the thought of someone not being able to leave their own flat was so implausible I thought it was part of the comedic affect of the show… little did I know the poor guy had Agoraphobia, If you told me back then Matthew was an Agoraphobe I’d probably have thought he was scared of spiders and that’s why he avoided going outside

However many years later and years after my first panic attack in my early 20s, I’ve realised that I’m the same as Matthew, in that I’m also a double hard bastard who fancies the pants off Samantha Janus, but also suffers from Agoraphobia.

Here’s the kicker, I’m not house bound. Agoraphobia isn’t just about the inability to leave the house, it’s also about the inability to leave situations and circumstances.

Here’s a list (not exclusive) of things that have set off my anxiety/panic attacks

watching football in a stadium, interviews, watching school plays, riding on public transport, flying, being in unfamiliar surroundings, having my hair cut, going to the dentist, the cinema

Sounds ridiculous right, but here’s the NHS to drive some points home “Agoraphobia is a fear of being in situations where escape might be difficult or that help wouldn’t be available if things go wrong”

You see in all my scenarios, the following parts of the above statements are the common fear “where escape might be difficult or help wouldn’t be available” I’d expand on that too and say where a valid excuse to remove myself from that situation is difficult to justify or that a place or the time to essentially hide until my panic blows over might not be adequate enough.

For me and my struggle agoraphobia is all about escape…